whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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