I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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