Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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