We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
