Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
