Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
