I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
