I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
