He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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