Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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