did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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