So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Randomize
