they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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