dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
