Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
