I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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