oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
