Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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