I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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