Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
