I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
