Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
