she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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