he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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