I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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