I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
