i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
