She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
