the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
