Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
