i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
