there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
