I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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