Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
