She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
