I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
being pregnant is like rehab
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
