So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
