My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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