We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
