On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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