a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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