Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it glows. i had to have it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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