So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
