Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
