Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
