I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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