Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
