he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
