Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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