i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
